Tuesday, March 13, 2012

It's over you guys. It's over. It's going to be ok. Come here...

Yes you. Come over here. Let me embrace you to my warm bosom and stroke your hair while we cry together over the agony of the last three months and the utter amazement and awe and reverence that we feel that we survived it.

There there. Just let it go. We got through it. Together. There...there. *sniffle*

Seriously though?


So what is there to even say about last nights finale? Is there a person on this planet who didn't know how that was going to go down? I feel bad that Lindzi had to even be present for that final week in Switzerland because Ben had made up his mind loooong ago. I really do think Lindzi was in complete shock though because she didn't think that anyone with half a brain would ever go for Courtney.

Turns out, and we knew this all along, Ben has less than half a brain. He has an empty, echoing chamber where a brain should be, covered in a grease mop of scraggly hair and also...he has a penis. And that's about it.

A few thoughts...

1-I was giddy, GIDDY, that Ben's sister Julia asked Lindzi about the model that didn't get along with any of the other girls. And what did Lindzi do with that opportunity to let Ben's family know what a total and enormous BIZZO that Courtney is? She squandered it! She didn't say jack shiz. WTF?

2-And Courtney lied to Ben's sisters face about the whole situation saying shee like, "oh, I tried SO HARD to get to know the girls but they just weren't nice to me so I put my guard up blah blah blah". So fine, she lied to them and they bought it.

3-BUT...I knew that after Ben and his family watched the show there was NO FREAKING WAY that he or anyone else would stick with Courtney.

4-Except for he did. W.T.F. And that whole thing about how they broke up and didn't speak for a while and she didn't know the status of their relationship and he abandoned her, etc? And all that pretend crying she did. Such bull crap. I guarantee you that none of that was true. So basically they deserve each other. SHE'S A MODEL! And Ben's an empty skull with a penis. Perfect couple.

5-Really though, I give them 3 weeks. They will do the magazine covers and the talk show circuit and pretend to be in love. And then they will break up. And they will probably both be on Bachelor Pad. I hate them. The end.

6-She did look freaking stunning last night, though. I will say that.
I'm excited to move on to Emily Maynard's season. It can't be worse then this. Nothing can. Ever again.


SJ said...

I don't watch the Bachelor and totally enjoy your posts. Thanks for sharing. And i want to make all that delicious food you posted as well.

naezandkidz said...

HAHA...I loved reading this, its exactly how I felt last night...But don't forget that he didn't even send her flowers for Valentines Day...not even Carnations...haha oh how I loved it..I think she is the only girl in the years of the bachelor that was b more into the ring when she is getting engaged then anything else.She kept trying to look at it and talk about it and he would cut her off...I found it hilarious!!

Marcus and Amy said...

Such a lame, lame, lame season. I am glad I stopped watching at week 3. I knew it was Courtney. I did watch the girls tell all and the after the final rose. I enjoyed Ashley and JP better then Ben and Courtney.

They are both so weird. Why did they make it look so much like she was the victim? He was the one that was dupped!

Bring on Emily! That should be a good season...hopefully!

Ty and Meg said...

The amazing thing is that it can get worse and it usually does. So you should get out while you still can. Although I have to say I kind of want to see Emily's season. Ugh. Stupid bach/ette.

Hi! I am Chelsea said...

FINALLY! I have been waiting for weeks for another bachelorette post!!! I don't even watch the stupid show, but I LOVE hearing you rant about it! :) I believe you missed your calling to be a TV Critic!